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Life as series of sketches

“Do you reflect on your journey often? Do you ask yourself how you got from the old days to where you are now? Good and bad? Sometimes, life’s great paintings come from a series of sketches. You and I? We’re like Picasso.

Life is a series of sketches. Progress is a series of sketches. Through them, you see the world differently, you approach it with a new mindset, you apply new skills to old learnings.”

(Chris Brogan, yesterday)

The “I am”

Without a clear sense of what you are committed to doing to accomplish your goals, your list of I am nots will slowly shape you and become excuses for doing nothing.

Dependenta de nefericire

De multe ori suntem victimele unei lupte interioare pe care cei mai muiti nici nu o recunoastem, chiar si atunci cand ne afecteaza intr-un mod dramatic.
Desi oamenii cauta, in mod constient, fericirea, pot avea nevoie de un anumit grad de disconfort pentru a-si mentine un echilibru interior. Nevoia inconstienta de a sabota intentiile bune ale unei persoane poate explica diverse dificultati obisnuite, inclusiv cheltuieli exagerate, teama de situatii noi, alegeri romantice care frang inimi si esecuri profesionale.
Este posibil sa fi avut o banuiala in legatura cu aceasta dependenta si sa fi observat ca uneori te opresti inainte de atingerea scopurilor urmarite (ai o relatie cu o persoana nepotrivita, alegi o cariera care iti provoaca frustrare si nefericire) sau, atunci cand iti atingi scopul, il sabotezi intr-un mod inexplicabil (gasesti persoana potrivita, dar te certi cu ea sau o indepartezi; alegi slujba perfecta, dar nu poti face fata termenelor-limita; pierzi cateva kilograme, dar le pui imediat la loc).
Este posibil sa te fi simtit pus in dificultate atunci cand ti-ai atins scopul si ai realizat ca acel succes nu-ti aduce fericirea la care te asteptai. Poate ca scopul s-a pierdut pe parcurs sau satisfactia ta a fost diminuata pentru ca ai inceput sa te gandesti la alte dorinte, ramase neindeplinite. Sau poate ai suferit o pierdere personala insemnata, si consideri ca iti este foarte dificil sa-ti revii din punct de vedere emotional, chiar daca a trecut mult timp de atunci. Poate ca esti o persoana sanatoasa, cu o cariera de succes si relatii bune si doar te simti nervos deprimat si lipsit de energie.
Nu inseamna ca te simti in mod constant nefericit sau frustrat. Vrei sa te bucuri de viata ta si nu-i de mirare ca exista si momente cand te simti fericit. Dar, daca ai o predispozitie spre nefericire, trebuie sa-ti produci un fel de disconfort pentru a mentine un echilibru interior.

Fiecare copil isi doreste si are nevoie sa fie asemenea celui care il iubeste si are grija de el. Atunci cand adultii importanti din viata lor nu sunt disponibili, cand sunt pedepsiti sau cand parintii au asteptari prea mari de la copiii lor, cei mici, inconstient, dar ferm, resimt si ei nefericirea in ceea ce priveste faptul de a iubi si de a fi iubit. Mai tarziu, fara sa realizeze ca, periodic, incearca sa devina fericiti, isi recreeaza aceasta stare de nefericire. Acest amalgam de nefericire si fericire persista la maturitate si este responsabil de dependenta de nefericire care poate submina intentia de a cauta fericirea si implinirea.
Motivul pentru care schimbarea pozitiva este posibila consta in faptul ca nu-ti pierzi niciodata setea innascuta pentru adevarata placere. Aceasta placere adevarata poate fi gasita atat in certitudinea interioara ca iubesti si esti iubit, cat si in actualizarea alegerilor constructive si adecvate.
Placerea reala iti sporeste intotdeauna cheful de viata – nu este niciodata daunatoare, tie sau celor din jur, si se opune mereu dependentei de nefericire.

Exista o multime de modalitati prin care oamenii nu reusesc sa devina persoana care isi doresc sa fie si sa nu traiasca viata pe care o viseaza.
Anumite experiente din primii ani ai vietii pot avea insa legatura cu abilitatea de a face imbunatatiri importante si de durata, trebuie sa recunosti si sa intelegi motivele care te opresc sa obtii fericirea.
Copiii se nasc optimisti, isi iubesc parintii si cred ca acestia sunt perfecti si total devotati lor. Cei care te-au ingrijit au facut tot ceea ce le-a stat in putinta, cu siguranta, si nu ti-au dorit decat binele. Ca sa iti poti schimba viata in bine trebuie sa intelegi de ce si in ce mod efectele acestor experiente te influenteaza astazi.

Confuzia dintre fericire si nefericire

Toti copiii vin pe lume optimisti in ceea ce priveste relatiile interumane, isi adora parintii si cred ca tot ceea ce experimenteaza ei, atat bune, cat si rele, reprezinta o exprimare a dragostei de care au nevoie, pentru ca asta isi doresc parintii de la ei.
Daca doresti sa-ti imbunatatesti calitatea vietii, primul pas pe care trebuie sa-l faci este sa intelegi de ce nu esti stapanul propriului destin. Simplul adevar este acela ca o existenta nefericita se datoreaza indeosebi faptului ca dragostea pentru parinti te-a facut sa confunzi fericirea cu nefericirea.
Ai fost un imitator
Dar ai venit pe lume cu un talent uimitor. Chiar daca nu ti-ai vazut vreodata chipul, ai putut copia gesturile tatalui tau. Spre exemplu, daca tatal tau a deschis gura sau a scos limba, i-ai copiat expresia si gesturile.
Dorinta de a fi ca parintii tai nu s-a oprit doar la asemanarea cu ei. Pentru ca iti adorai parintii si ii considerai perfecti, iti doreai sa fii exact ca ei. O modalitate de a fi ca ei a fost sa te simti la fel cum te faceau ei sa te simti. Atunci cand plangeai pentru ca iti era foame sau erai obosit, iar parintii tau te hraneau sau te ajutau sa dormi, ti-ai creat nevoia puternica de a te trata pe tine insuti si pe ceilalti cu aceeasi dragoste si devotament. Fericirea interioara – convingerea profunda ca sunt iubitori si iubiti – este reafirmata in mod continuu de catre sensibilitatea parintilor, pana cand aceasta devine de nezdruncinat.
Dar ce-ar fi daca, in ciuda tuturor intentiilor bune, parintii nu-ti pot raspunde nevoilor emotionale pentru ca nu le-au inteles sau au fost impiedicati, dintr-un anumit motiv, sa le satisfaca? Cele mai mari esecuri sunt determinate de abandonarea copiilor fericiti, de asteptari prea mari de la ei sau de respingerea lor.

Legatura dintre a fi lasat sa plangi
si nevoia de nefericire pentru a te putea simti pe deplin fericit

Exista un sfat popular sa iti lasi copilul sa planga in ideea ca tristetea nu dauneaza, ci le intareste caracterul. Ca toti bebelusii, ai fost obosit sau ai fost prea stimulat si ai avut nevoie de putina afectiune care sa te ajute sa te relaxezi si sa dormi. Cand erai copil, plangeai din aceleasi motive ca acum, cand esti adult – pentru ca erai nefericit.
Daca plangeai cand erai pus in patut ca sa adormi, iar parintii te lasau sa plangi singur, absenta lor te facea sa fii si mai trist, deoarece certitudinea de a fi iubitor sau iubit, era distrusa. Dupa aceea, plangeai din doua motive total diferite. Sufereai inca din cauza disconfortului creat de oboseala, de indigestie, sau din cauza altor forme de stres. Mai rau chiar, te simteai ingrozitor, pentru ca oamenii pe care ii iubeai si ii adorai mai presus de orice nu iti veneau in ajutor.

When at Last You See

Oh, what the heck. Haven’t you held on to this long enough? Sure you have. Look at your present, and let the past be.

I’m taking a break from cleaning my home to write this. The place was pretty messy. Like, really messy. Stuff was piling up. Dirt hid everywhere. I’ve collected a lot of “things” lately (some of it gifts from wonderful people, some of it work related), but I really hadn’t found homes for any of it. Just piles.

When at last you see…

All life is like this: we are comfortable with how it is until we finally see the difference, or what it could be. All life. You need a strong and healthy body to succeed.

My business over the last year had become really disjointed. I held some courses, did some tehnical works, managed few projects, got into some auctions. and basically threaded together a bunch of disparate parts that only had me in common. May be like running an ice cream stand that also sells oil changes. And that was fine, until I saw what it looked like, what it really looked like.

Choose to take action

I find lately that when I see more clearly what is supposed to be happening, what is supposed to be true, that it’s a lot easier to take action. I tackle task after task with vigor because I finally see the structure and the framework and the shape of what should be. In my home, I made a simple rule for today: put everything in a place or make it leave the premises.

But that’s a choice. You could choose differently. You could decide that you’ll just leave well enough alone, or not change anything, or keep the status quo, because why not? It works well enough, right?

There are choices you’ve been putting off. There have been whole swaths of your life (your business and your personal life) that you’ve been pretending not to notice. Today would be a great day to open your eyes and your thoughts and your guts and your vision of what you know you want to pursue. Because once you do that, what comes next promises to be really amazing.

Are you with me?

 

inspired by Chris Brogan

 

If you can love someone with your whole heart, even one person, then there’s salvation in life. Even if you can’t get together with that person.

What we seek is some kind of compensation for what we put up with.

Spend your money on the things money can buy. Spend your time on the things money can’t buy.

(Haruki Murakami)

Here.

Best 30 life philosophies seen by “Sex and the City” movie makers. 🙂

1. Maybe all men are a drug. Sometimes they bring you down, and sometimes, like now, they get you so high.

2. Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with.

3. Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.

4. You and I are so over we need a new word for it.

5. The most important thing in life is your family. There are days you love them, and others you don’t. But, in the end, they’re the people you always come home to. Sometimes it’s the family you’re born into and sometimes it’s the one you make for yourself.

6. Women are for friendship. Men are for fucking.

7. Are we simply romantically challenged, or are we sluts?

 

8. From my experience, honey, if he seems too good to be true—he probably is.

9. All those men who end up disappointing you. After a while, you don’t even want to have feelings anymore. You just want to get on with your life.

10. If you believe in love, you’re setting yourself up to be disappointed.

11. It’s tempting to wish for the perfect boss, the perfect parent, or the perfect outfit. But maybe the best any of us can do is not to quit, play the hand we’ve been dealt, and accessorize what we’ve got.

12. After all, it’s woman, who decide, if a man is desirable or undesirable.

13. I wouldn’t be in shallow relationships, so I do nothing. I have no sex and no romance. Who needs it? Who needs all these potential problems like disease and pregnancy? I have no problems. No fear of disease, psychopaths, or stalkers. Why not just be with your friends and have real conversations and a good time?

14. Carrie: Have you ever been in love?

Big: Abso-fucking-lutely.

15. I am someone who is  looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love.

16. Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop figuring out precisely how we feel, stop deciding exactly what we want, and just see what happens.

17. Friendships don’t last for years, you have to invest in them.

18. Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.

19. The fact is, sometimes it’s really hard to walk in a single woman’s shoes. That’s why we need really special ones now and then to make the walk a little more fun.

20. And then I realised something, twenty-something girls are just fabulous, until you see one with the man who broke your heart.

21. When you’re young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don’t leap at all because there’s not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there’s no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?

 

22. Maybe mistakes are what make our fate… without them what would shape our lives? Maybe if we had never veered off course we wouldn’t fall in love, have babies, or be who we are. After all, things change, so do cities, people come into your life and they go. But it’s comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart… and if you’re very lucky, a plane ride away.

23. You men have no idea what we’re dealing with down there. Teeth placement, and jaw stress, and suction, and gag reflex, and all the while bobbing up and down, moaning and trying to breathe through our noses. Easy? Honey, they don’t call it a job for nothin.

24. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.

25. Somewhere out there is another little freak who will love us and understand us and kiss our three heads and make it all better.

 

26. The world is made up of two girls, the simple girls and the Katie girls. I’m a Katie girl!

27. After a break-up, certain street, locations, even times of day are off-limits. The city becomes a deserted battlefield, loaded with emotional landmines. You have to be very careful where you step or you could be blown to pieces.

28. The good ones screw you, the bad ones screw you, and the rest don’t know how to screw you.

29. I will never be the woman with the perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it.

30. Are there some women put in the world just to make you feel bad about yourself?
Source.