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Archive for the ‘personal’ Category

Back to RO. Romanian text follows.

Aseara am fost la botezul Oanei/Dan/Mati. 6 mai 2017.

Este acea perioada din viata de ceva timp – cand toata lumea se casatoreste, face copii, pot sa numar pe degete prietenii care nu au facut unul dintre cei doi pasi. Si intr-un mod bizar cand ma uit la viata mea nu pare ca voi avea prea curand o directie inspre asta.

Citeam azi un articol despre burn-out si cum interpretarea lui psihanalitica ar fi ca nu poti sa te accepti facand nimic, therefore wasting life. Always on the rush towards the next thing. Mi se pare ca si eu am trait asa destul de mult timp. Insa, nu stiu de unde sau de ce, s-a schimbat ceva in mine. Am inceput sa crave dupa vacante, dupa timp liber, dupa timp cu prieteni, dupa timp sa citesc o carte, o baie lunga si efectiv timp pentru mine. Catre prieteni spun ca am inceput sa imi doresc o viata. Cam asta e perspectiva.

Si am tot revazut filmul asta aseara. Am revazut oameni si felul in care si-au legat familiile, franturi din viata lor, oftat, nemultumiri, parca mai mult decat niciodata.

In mod surprinzator, oameni ale caror cupluri mi se pareau ideale s-au dovedit a fi oameni, pana la urma, si nu exista nimic mereu fericit nici la ei. Tristetea unei masti de “asa trebuie sa fie”, care de multe ori vine cu pachetul destul de judgmental ca ai 29 si lipsa perspectivei unei familii.

Probabil eu, Raluca a lui Adi si Ralu, eram cele mai independente figuri de acolo, fiecare dintre noi cu o alta poveste, si m-a lasat cu o serie de intrebari, pana la urma. Eu nu ma simt lasata in urma. Chiar cred ca mi-am jucat cartile foarte frumos pana acum. Si, indeed, chiar vreau sa schimb ceva, ma raportez din ce in ce mai diferit la work decat pana acum.

Cand Dan a luat microfonul si s-a pierdut, multumind de cel putin 5 ori ca suntem acolo, in interval de un minut, a tinut sa isi salute copiii din copilarie de la bloc si sa le spuna “nu vom pune manele”. So it got me wondering. M-am gandit la Josian, m-am gandit la articolul cu “why you should date a jerk”, si da – Josian intra la jerk, chiar daca nu in sensul de baza, ci profilul pe care si l-a facut prin toate problemele pe care si le-a creat mergand prin viata si creandu-si juniori fara sa isi doreasca o familie. So poate ca relatiile nefericite sunt acolo doar ca sa intelegem care este limita noastra de toleranta. Si da, in prezent cineva este nemultumit ca jumatatea actuala fumeaza, sau ca uita sa se spele pe dinti dupa ce fumeaza, ca nu spala vase, nu duce gunoiul, lasa haine imprastiate prin casa sau nu are timp suficient pentru lucurile pe care ti le-ai dori sa le faceti impreuna. Sau este un jerk si inca nu ti-ai umplut paharelul ca sa move on. Cine mai stie. Doar ca aseara am inteles de ce Oana pentru Dan e un inger. Si am inteles si de ce pentru Oana Dan este acela. Pentru ca in fond conteaza doar sa zambiti impreuna si sa stii ca te poti baza pe omul de langa tine. Nimic mai mult nu este necesar pentru o relatie fericita.

Si pe atat de simplu, pe atat de complicat.

 

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Who you are

No matter how much you think that people understand what you do, what you’re selling, what you’re about, they don’t. They’re busy. You’re busy. Everyone’s busy. So you have to fly that flag of yours loudly. You have to make it clear and obvious what you sell. You have to really be your own best and loudest voice in advocating for how you help the universe.

What does it say on your flag? Do people know? If you messaged a bunch of friends and asked them to explain what you do and how you help the world, would they say anything close to what you actually do? If not, guess who’s job that is to fix it?

Yours.

I’m still working on mine.

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Corespondenta Mihai Eminescu – Veronica Micle (XV) – ultima scrisoare. (fragment)

“(…) Nu risipi partea cea mai buna a vietii si a inimei d-tale pentru un om care nu e vrednic sa-ti ridice praful urmelor si crede-ma odata in viata cand iti spun marele adevar, ca cel ce nu e-n stare a se iubi pe sine, nu e-n stare a iubi pe nimenea. Va fi poate ca orice organism o jertfa a instinctelor sale fiziologice impreunate c-o idee fixa. dar cand un asemenea om ca mine va cerceta cenusa din inima lui, va vedea ca nu exista inca nici o scantee, ca totul e uscat si mort, ca n-are la ce trai, ca taraie in zadar o existenta care nu-i place nici lui, nici altora. Nu cred nimic, nu sper nimic si mi-e moraliceste frig ca unui batran de 80 de ani. Dta traiesti si eu sunt ucis – ce raport poate fi intre noi?

De aceea lasa amaraciunea de-o parte, bucura-te de-o viata care va fi frumoasa inca, pentru ca ai devenit o femeie demna, pentru ca astazi esti ceea ce ar fi trebuit să fii totdeuna dupa dispozitiile Dtale generoase si dupa spiritul de adevar pe care-l ai. Parerea de rau de a-ti fi cauzat Dtale dureri e singura parere de rau pe care-o am… Te rog iarta-mi-le cu atat mai mult cu cat mai mult cu cat eu n-am nimic de iertat, cu atat mai mult cu cat de la Dta n-am vazut decat bine.”

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You might say you’re an owner, but do you speak like one? Owners phrase things in a positive, sometimes competitive, and often a bit aggressive way. If you’ve not chosen to own your life, you might see it differently.

“They won’t listen to my great ideas.” <- Not an owner.
“I’m working towards getting my ideas implemented.” <- Owner.

“I’m trying to break out, but I keep running into obstacles.” <- Not an owner.
“I’m looking for the best path to my success.” <- Owner.

“I create things but nobody pays attention. I’m a nobody.” <- Not an owner.
“I’m planting my best work so that the world will take notice.” <- Owner.

The words I choose inside my head and the ones I let out into the world attract and repel very specific people. When I say something positive, guess who responds? When I say something negative or I complain, you can imagine what I attract, right?

Affirmations and Commitments.

I have affirmations and commitments that I reread daily, sometimes many times a day. Mine are for me. Yours, obviously match your needs. But I’ll give you a peek at some.

I am invincible.
Confidence is gold.
Affirm in the face of struggle.
I am decisive.
I own my future.
Plans make my future.
I am loved.
Even if someone is frustrated, I have to smile and stay aloft.
It’s not always me.
I am here, even when I feel invisible.
Feeling sad is no reason to sabotage myself.
I’m very successful.
Silence is a treasure. I use it to replenish.
My goals matter.
No distractions.
Down is temporary.
It’s often sleep related.
Procrastination comes when I don’t have a great plan.

Saying only positive things to yourself is challenging. We all have a very nasty Inner Critic inside. The more you can work on this, the more it impacts the rest of your life.

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Choose once

And when you choose a life partner, you’re choosing a lot of things, including your parenting partner and someone who will deeply influence your children, your eating companion for about 20,000 meals, your travel companion for about 100 vacations, your primary leisure time and retirement friend, your career therapist, and someone whose day you’ll hear about 18,000 times.

If you’re running a business, conventional wisdom states that you’re a much more effective business owner if you study business in school, create well thought-out business plans, and analyze your business’s performance diligently. This is logical, because that’s the way you proceed when you want to do something well and minimize mistakes.

But if someone went to school to learn about how to pick a life partner and take part in a healthy relationship, if they charted out a detailed plan of action to find one, and if they kept their progress organized rigorously in a spreadsheet, society says they’re A) an over-rational robot, B) way too concerned about this, and C) a huge weirdo.

No, when it comes to dating, society frowns upon thinking too much about it, instead opting for things like relying on fate, going with your gut, and hoping for the best. If a business owner took society’s dating advice for her business, she’d probably fail, and if she succeeded, it would be partially due to good luck—and that’s how society wants us to approach dating.

Full article here: http://waitbutwhy.com/2014/02/pick-life-partner.html

A Traffic Test-passing friendship entails:

  • A great sense of humor click. No one wants to spend 50 years fake laughing.
  • Fun. And the ability to extract fun out of unfun situations—airport delays, long drives, errands. Not surprisingly, studies suggest that the amount of fun a couple has is a strong predictor for their future.6
  • A respect for each other’s brains and way of thinking. A life partner doubles as a career/life therapist, and if you don’t respect the way someone thinks, you’re not going to want to tell them your thoughts on work each day, or on anything else interesting that pops into your head, because you won’t really care that much what they have to say about it.
  • A decent number of common interests, activities, and people-preferences.Otherwise a lot of what makes you ‘you’ will inevitably become a much smaller part of your life, and you and your life partner will struggle to find enjoyable ways to spend a free Saturday together.

A friendship that passes the Traffic Test gets better and better with time, and it has endless room to deepen and grow ever-richer.

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Când ai nevoie de dragoste

 

când ai nevoie de dragoste nu ţi se dă dragoste.
când trebuie să iubeşti nu eşti iubit.
când eşti singur nu poţi să scapi de singurătate.
când eşti nefericit nu are sens să o spui.

când vrei să strângi în braţe nu ai pe cine.
când vrei să dai un telefon sunt toţi plecaţi.
când eşti la pământ cine se interesează de tine?
cui îi pasă? cui o să-i pese vreodată?

fii tu lângă mine, gândeşte-te la mine.
poartă-te tandru cu mine, nu mă chinui, nu mă face gelos,
nu mă părăsi, căci n-aş mai suporta încă o ruptură.
fii lângă mine, ţine cu mine.

înţelege-mă, iubeşte-mă, nu-mi trebuie partuze, nici conversaţie,
fii iubita mea permanentă.
hai să uităm regula jocului, să nu mai ştim că sexul e o junglă.
să ne ataşăm, să ajungem la echilibru.

dar nu sper nimic. nu primeşte dragoste
când ai nevoie de dragoste.
când trebuie să iubeşti nu eşti iubit.
când eşti la pamânt nicio femeie nu te cunoaşte.

(Mircea Cărtărescu)

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Love. Soul mates.

The basic law of attraction states that you will attract to you those things that match your state of belief. I believe the universe is always mirroring back to us our beliefs about ourselves and the world. If we believe the world is a loving and friendly place, then most of the time that will be our experience. If we believe the world is a chaotic, stressful and fearful place, then that becomes our reality.

So, believing and knowing that your soul mate is out there is part of the formula for manifestation.

If you do not yet believe with 100% certainty that your soul mate is out there, let’s look for things that will make a believer out of you. Do you believe you are lovable? If you are reading this, then I am certain you are lovable. Why? Because lovable people want more love in their lives.

If you believe you are not lovable, however, challenge that belief. Take a moment to identify at least three (or more) lovable traits you possess, such as being generous, compassionate, friendly, kind, considerate, thoughtful, interesting, funny, etc. Write these traits down, then memorize them. You will be using them shortly for your treasure map.

I know many very attractive, successful single people who hold negative, limiting beliefs when it comes to finding their soul mate. The list usually goes something like this:

– I’m too old.
– I’m too fat.
– I’m too damaged.
– I have too much baggage.
– I am too successful.
– I am not successful enough.
– All the goods are taken.
– Nobody who I want, wants me.

These are just knee-jerk excuses to keep yourself stuck. There is plenty of evidence that love is available to everyone regardless of age, weight, income, or any other feeble excuse.

What if I told you that it’s not your job to know how your soul mate is going to appear? It’s only your job to be ready, willing, and open to love. You don’t really know where air or water comes from, but you totally believe that they are there for you. As a human being, you know that air and water are your divine right. You know that no matter what mistakes you have made in the past, you are still going to wake up every day and should have access to air and water.

The same is true for love. It is there for you – it has always been there for you. You just need to remember your own lovable traits. Once you do, the universe will deliver to you the perfect soul mate.

There is nothing for you to do. There is only one way for you to be.

– Be the loving person that you are.
– Live knowing that you are in a loving, committed relationship.
– Live that truth every day as you savor waiting for your beloved to arrive.
– Listen to your intuition spurring you to take action whenever opportunities present themselves.

Soul mate entrance exam:
(Answer yes, no, or unsure for each question.)
– Do you believe your soul mate is out there?
– Are you ready to meet your soul mate today? Right now?
– If your soul mate had the ability to observe your life right now, would you be proud of what they would see?
– Are you psychologically and physically in your best condition to meet your soul mate?
– Is your home ready to receive your soul mate?
– Have you made a list of ten qualities you want in your soul mate?
– Do you regularly exhibit the qualities you believe your soul mate would be most attracted to?
– Are there past lovers who still have their energetic hooks in you?
– Are you at peace with the possibility that you may never meet your soul mate? Do you truly believe you’ll have a great life if you never meet them?

If you answered “no” to even one of these questions, you may be unconsciously blocking your soul mate from coming into your life.

Have you ever wondered what it takes to find the love of your life? Is it your dream to find a life-partner who will love, cherish, and adore you?

As someone who didn’t meet and marry my soul mate until I was 44, I learned a great deal along the way about what does and doesn’t work in the world of love and romance.

Finding true love is possible for anyone at any age if you’re willing to prepare yourself, on all levels, to become a magnet for love. This wonderful universe of ours is set up to deliver people who are consistent with our personal belief system. If you don’t believe you will ever find the one, then guess what? You get to be right: you probably won’t.

If, however, you learn to believe that the one is not only out there, but is also looking for you, then true love can be yours. My grandmother always told me there’s a lid for every pot. In other words, there is a match — a perfect partner — for every person. Even so, I have to admit that there were many, many times in my thirties when I questioned this because I still hadn’t found the lid to my pot.

Then one day, something happened that really solidified in me the belief that my soul mate was out there … somewhere. I was watching Oprah and she had Barbra Streisand on the show. Streisand had recently fallen in love with James Brolin, and I remember thinking, “Here is this super-wealthy, ultra-famous diva – how many men could be a match for her?” And then I realized, if Barbra Streisand could find somebody, then I’ll be a piece of cake! I knew in that moment, with absolute certainty, that if the universe had the perfect man for Barbra Streisand, then my soul mate was definitely out there. I also knew that I needed to prepare myself on every level to magnetize him into my life.

At that point in my life I was working from home, and the only men I ever met were delivery guys – and most of them were already married! I began using everything I had ever learned about manifestation, psychology, spirituality, and the law of attraction and applied it to my love life. My intentions became crystal-clear while I simultaneously cleared out the clutter from my house and my heart. I learned and invented techniques, rituals, visualizations, and prayers that helped me prepare my body, mind, spirit, and home for an amazing relationship. And they worked.

Within six months of getting serious about manifesting my soul mate, I met my husband, Brian, who has exceeded all my desires and expectations. He is everything I ever wished for.

Does this really work?

Well, it worked for me, and it recently worked for my mother-in-law, Peggy. After a 55-year marriage followed by five years as a widow, Peggy, now 80, set the intention of finding a companion. Within a few months, Peggy met John, who had also enjoyed a 50-plus-year marriage before his wife died. Today, Peggy and John are like teenagers in love, enjoying the joy of re-discovering big love in their golden years.

Whether you are 28 or 88, it’s never too late.

Daily preparing:  In this moment, I am grateful for the healing in my heart of everything that would stop me from having my soul mate appear. In this moment, I remember that my perfect, right partner is magnetizing to me, and my only job is to rest in perfect awareness that his/her heart is already joined with mine as I savor the waiting.

And so it is.

“I am bewildered by the magnificence of your beauty, and wish to see you with a hundred eyes. I am in the house of mercy and my heart is a place of prayer.” – Rumi

Newsletter by Arielle Ford. 🙂

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