People are limited. I haven’t really been myself these last months. I even asked for professional help. Did’t find the right person for that either, but I learned a lot from what I expected of her and the therapy. I understood I gave more value to some people than I should have. I forgot who I was and put a huge barrel on the failed plans from these last months.
I stopped believing I was different from the regular and had my world collapse.
A part of me would scream I am better than this, that I should keep on fighting, keep on looking, but I was drained of energy. I couldn’t. There was too much, I just needed a break, to go back to the basics, my basics. And that was when he took my hand and I could see it in his eyes. He believed in me more than I did. He remembered me what I did, who I changed and how I was perceived. He hugged me tight and listened to all I had to say without being judgmental. He held me in his arms when all I needed was to cry and let it all go. He loved me when I was weak. And so it made me strong again.
I got back on track and re-stated my options. Still afraid, but full of hope. I met old and new people and I wondered again. I have not failed. We were not sharing the same vision. I have not failed. I made a different call.
You, who did not trust me, shame on you for being so confident, and shame on me for believing you, too.
I know I can.
You know I can, too.
I had the courage to say NO to a life I do not want, to defeat people with their expectations of what I should do next. Do you?

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